Thursday, October 23, 2008

My Absence

Molly's face could sum up how I have been feeling for quite some time now, and that explains why I never write here anymore. Avoidance. To explain myself or my situation to those who reads this is hard. I could stand in front of a crowd of strangers and detail my feelings with no shame, but to explain it to family and friends that evokes shame. I do not want to air my laundry lists of complaints and hardships, listing them out on the screen does the feelings behind those words no justice. All I can say is that even the day to day necessities of life and the to do list that goes along with my life has been hard, too hard. So I did not have the energy to come here and write about all the funny things Ella said, or capture moments with my camera, or explain the antics of Molly, to pretend. They still happened and I am sad that none of them will be documented but the time came to take care of myself.

As you can see Molly was just pretending to be sad, I wish I could say the same. But what I can say is I am doing all of the things I need to do to get back to the place I once was, or maybe even a better space for myself.