Six

When I look at other peoples six year old's they have always resembled children in every way the same is not true when I look at my own six year old. Her hands are still so small and she is still in need of help from an adult hand more often then not. To me the six year old who resides in this house is still a baby, she still breaks in to tears with the slightest provoking, she still wants the guard railing on her bed which looks so big even when she is stretched out in it. She still takes a bath with her little sister the focus not on getting clean but getting adequate play time. She never asks for privacy I do not think she even knows what that is yet. She still likes her fruit cut in to little bite size pieces. I always thought that six years old's were fairly independent until I shared a house with one. But as life is riddled with so many contradictions baby is not a label that fits Ella, she can tell time, she can count to 212 ( I am not sure why she thinks she can not count any higher than that), she can get herself a cup of water or her own snack, she can look thing up on the Internet all by herself, and every day I am amazed at all the things she does that I did not help her learn. It is just that when I look at her and all her intelligence and Independence I still see my baby. Other six year old's are children I am not sure what my six year old is but it does not seem possible that she does not have at least a little bit of baby left in her.

I wrote this a while ago but never hit publish, so here it is now.

Happy Birthday Bobo

Molly Ann today you are five years old! For some reason you think your birthday is July 7th but you will happily accept a party on any old day of the month thank goodness. When I wished you a happy birthday this morning you told me it was not in fact your birthday then you asked indignantly how I would know that anyway. I explained that I was there when you were born and it is not likely a day I will ever forget. As the doctor pulled you out he said this one is all checks and I have never been certain if he was referring to the checks on your face or perhaps the other ones, either way they are both adorable in my opinion. As soon as you caught your breath from arguing with me you jutted your bottom teeth and inquired about whether or not they were loose yet. You are my silly, dramatic (you wear costumes more often than regular clothes), beautiful little girl and all of us who love and adore you have been lucky enough to spend the past 1825 days with you. Happy Birthday Bobo!!!!

Summer Evenings

Ella and Daddy.
Maga's kitchen.
Most of the time when I pull out the camera this is what I get.
Ella actually took that photo of me so I thought I would include it, she really likes to take photos. She looks so cute with my giant camera angled up against her eye and the strap around her little neck and she surprises me with the results of her efforts.
She no longer looks like a toddler but very much a little girl, even so I bribed her to put on this dress which I adore but is a size 2. I promise the dress will now be retired but she just looked so adorable.

Ella has to bite in to all of her food using the left side of her mouth but with that tooth loosening more and more by the day what will she do?

So I picked the dress but the shoes were all Bobo's idea.
I just love this photo, running free in the yard with the scent of burgers on the grill.
Molly was a little concerned about the possibility of "funder"(thunder). She would peck her little face through the screen door and ask "did any of you guys hear a little funder" Thankfully no one had head any and there was none for the rest of the night.

Ella is now 100% daddies little girl and has little use for what comes out of my mouth, notice the rolling of the eyes?
These photo's were all taken at Maga's house on a warm summer evening, which is my favorite kind.

And there off

Both the girls are at their respective schools as I type this. I can not be certain that I have come to grips with all of my feeling about the fact that they are both now enrolled in school. Although Molly will only be going to school two days a week for half a day so maybe the last statement is a bit dramatic. But I have had my house full of little girls noise for the past six years (almost) so it is first and foremost strange and a little disconcerting. This morning after I found myself alone in the house the first thing I did was clean up the whirlwind everyone had left behind and as I vacuumed the entire first floor without stopping and I might add with my ipod on full volume (what a luxury that was) I could not truly relish my efficiency. While signing along I kept hearing thuds or squeals like phantom children noises, maybe related to the phantom pain one feels when they loose a limb and still feel tingling or pain or itching. I remember after having Ella as I sat in my hospital room holding her in my arms I would feel kicks and movement as though she was still tucked safely inside so I asked the nurse about it alarmed that something was wrong with me. She said that nothing was wrong and that it is actually quite common that or maybe she was just trying to console a crazy first time mother. But here Ella is somehow now old enough to be whisked away on a school bus all by herself, it does not seem possible.When the bus pulled up this morning Nick said where is everyone as the bus appeared empty, that is until it started to round the corner and all these little faces were all staring out barely able to peer out over the bottom of the window. I suddenly feel as though Ella is so vulnerable and there is nothing I can do to remedy that. As I was making her lunch last night and packing it ever so carefully in her new barbie (not my choice for sure) lunchbox I fretted over it like she would be spending a week in the deep woods. I worried about if she doesn't like what I have packed and will she be starving and miserable by the time she gets home? Or is that enough juice for the whole day, I mean at home she can eat or drink whenever the mood strikes her and I am always there to make sure her needs are met. Listen to me glorify my mothering skills as if there were never times when I was swamped with work and instructed her to pick a box of cereal out of the cupboard for snack and share it with her sister. But it was still based on my judgement and my knowledge of my daughter and now Ella will be spending the majority of her waking hours with someone who hardly knows her. I know Ella will love school and this is just me feeling the pain of the first time in a series of many when she will pull away but I had honestly fooled myself in to thinking this transition wouldn't bother me in the least. So here I sit crying and typing and very proud of my smart beautiful big school girl, and her sister too who did so much better than I ever would have guessed on her first day of preschool. Last year when Ella started preschool that did not bother me at all it was a nice little break for me and in a school I had picked just for her and I know Molly will love it there too, but this whole kindergarten thing is much bigger than I expected.
*Disclaimer- may not make as much sense I thought when I was writing it because I was being an emotional sap!

Things I will miss

Someday the girls will stop mispronouncing their words and I am really going to miss some of their adaptations and creations.
Sheepers=slippers
Brecko=waffles
Hostable=Hospital
pokey dots=polka dots
zert=dessert
magown=nightgown
As well as cute words I will miss the thought process of the pre-school & toddler set for example-

Ella has been reffering to Nick and I by our first names when she is talking to other people and when I asked her why she said she likes to use fancy talk.

Or

Ella will say to me Mommy if I ever fall into a river if I get thirsty I will just drink the water, then I asked her if she was sure that was a good idea I mean what about all the fish poop? She thinks for a minuet and said to me, Mommy fish don't poop they have tails. I just love those kind of original idea's.

Or

Bobo was looking through the curtains last night and when her father asked her what was out there she said " A old man", there was nobody outside that's just what she thought up.

Or

The fact that we all have "house names" Nick is Randy Popper, I have no Idea what the origin of that one is but it makes me laugh every time one of the girls say's it, my name is suzie, Ella's name is Allison which she has now added Ariel to so it's Allison Ariel, and Bobo's name is J.J.